Man offers to pay for trip to Disney World for his girlfriend and her 12 and 9-year-old kids, rescinds offer when she insists he pay for her ex-husband and his new family to go too: 'I can afford to do a lot of things. I only do them if I want to'

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    AITAH because I cancelled a Christmas trip to Disney for my girlfriend's kids? Maybe it will be ex-girlfriend soon.
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    Ashley and I have been together for three years. Her kids are 9 and 12. I get along with them and they are good kids. I'm not their dad but they are polite and respectful. My parents have bought them Christmas and birthday gifts ever since they met. I had a good year and I wanted to do something nice for the kids. Ashley and I talked about it and we were going to take the kids to Disney World over Christmas.
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    The problem is that her ex wants to pitch in and come as well with his wife and their kid. I don't really want to go on a holiday with this guy and his family. I talked to Ashley and I said I would prefer if it was just us since this is our first big "family" holiday. She said that her ex really wanted to be there for the kid's first trip to Disney. We argued and I gave in.
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    Then the plan was told to me. He really can't afford to stay where we were going to stay so he and Ashley decided that I should change our reservation and stay somewhere cheaper. Fine, I don't really care. I wanted to treat the kids to something awesome but as long as we stay somewhere nice then in happy. We chose a good neighbor hotel at Disney Springs. It's nice and still allows for early entrance and has character events and such.
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    It turns out that what was supposed to happen was I cancel our reservations at the Grand Floridian and use the money to pay for an extra suite at the other hotel. Their idea of him pitching in was paying for flights for his wife and kid. I said f no.
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    Ashley said that the kids really want their dad their. I said that he was welcome to take them. She said I was being cheap since I could afford to do this. I can but that's not the point. I do not want to do this. I can afford to do a lot of things. I only do them if I want to do so. We had a big fight and no gave her the tickets for her and the kids to go and I cancelled the flights and hotel.
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    Now she is mad at me because she went through all the trouble and expense of getting the kids passports and luggage and stuff. I told her to tell me what that cost and I will reimburse her. Her ex called me to say I was being a and hurting his kids. I said it probably hurt them more when he had a kid with another woman and left their mom to go be with her.
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    I don't think I'm in the wrong here but maybe an outside opinion would help. Thanks. Ps. Her ex is a manipulative POS. He still tries to control her and I'm sick of it.
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    Mother Search3350 • 10h ago • Top 10% Commenter Your girlfriend, not wife expects you to pay for her ex husband and his Affair partner/ wife and all their kids to fly to the US, pay for their hotel and resort tickets? She must be out of her damned mind. NTAH
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    karliebrooksx Absolutely agree. It's beyond unreasonable for your *girlfriend*, not even your wife, to expect you to foot the bill for her ex-husband, his new partner, and their entire family to have a luxurious trip. That's a level of entitlement that's just mind-boggling. You're not responsible for their vacations, and it's absurd for her to even suggest it. You're definitely NTAH here! Stand your ground.
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    TieNervous9815 NTA, I think it's time to reevaluate that entire relationship. ▸▸▸
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    HoldFast02 pay for her ex husband and his Affair partner/ wife and all their kids to fly to the US, pay for their hotel and resort tickets? Not at all! He's pitching in, didn't you see? He'll pay for the flights! But yeah, this is completely bonkers. The ex must still have OP's GF wrapped around his finger for her to agree to this nonsense. Or he's manipulating her using their kids.
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    Educational_Gas_92 Absolutely agree, up until the passports for the kids, I assumed op and everyone else were American, since majority of English speaking reddit is, but if they aren't and op is flying from abroad, that makes the trip even more expensive, and the idea that he should pay for the ex and his new woman and kid even more absurd. Op is NTA, and didn't ruin the trip for the kids, their mom and dad ruined the trip, with their ridiculous demands. Op might as well save himself the hassle,
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    Mobile_Prune_3207 NTA. A gift you are gifting shouldn't be on someone else's terms.
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    patriciasamantha Why is she taking his side on this? That's sus af.
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    TheLastWord63 She's probably still hung up on and in love with him.
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    Additional_Way1346 NTA. She bit the hand that is providing and now she is being slapped with boundaries. I would have cancelled the minute she included her ex. If she wanted them there for her kids sake, then he can pay for that all by himself. Her ex still controls her. I would not be reimbursing her for the passports. Those Disney tickets for Disney during Christmas are around $200-$300 each. I would Inform you knew the kids were a package deal but her ex was not. She is making him part of the
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    elbenji the grand floridian rooms are over 1k a pop.
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    PervyMoon NTA. You planned a trip for your family, and her ex tried to take over while expecting you to pay. Not your responsibility. Boundaries are valid; he can take his kids himself if it's that important.
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    jools4you Op girlfriend allowed all this to happen and basically colluded with her kids dad to try make it happen and then turned op into the bad guy. No good deed goes unpunished.
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    JimboD42069 It's funny that the deadbeat dad who can't afford a hotel for not buying him one lol room called you a
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    Nervous-Tea-7074 NTA - your girlfriend gave up staying at the Grand Floridian, an experience her kids would have remembered for the rest of their lives! Fire works every night! 5 minutes from MK and luxury rooms! For her ex! Wow! She chose him over her kids!
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    Nah, she wanted to be at the same place as him! Because she wanted the Disney magic to bring them back together! He may have left her, but that doesn't mean she stopped loving him. Ask her out right, if she still loves him. Sorry OP, but I would move on.
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    dixon_balsagna Thank < you for contextualizing just how bone headed of a business decision this was. It's just so spectacularly inept. Grand Floridian, dude. Thousand frickin dollar hotel rooms. And you only sleep there! If nothing else, break up because that is just... horribly stupid. Frighteningly stupid.
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    dessertchef11 NTA. I wouldn't have even offered to reimburse her, the ex should have chipped in for his own kids passport and luggage.

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